I used to have really high standards for a boyfriend: tall, sporty, confident but not overly, witty, charming, attractive, stylish, smart, somewhat geeky, kind, thoughtful, romantic, etc etc picture the perfect boyfriend out of a movie.
Now, I just want a boyfriend who’s honest and thoughtful. I want a boyfriend who will go out of his way to make me happy, and will put me near the top of his priorities, since being his number one is a bit unrealistic. I want him to understand me, to listen to me, to be my supporter and best friend.
Someone put me in my place if I’m being unrealistic, but is that too much to ask for?
A lot of people are making a gigantic fuss over the current labeling of feminism.
And while a good chunk of my reasoning for not labeling myself as a feminist does come from the rather bad reputation many carry, along with the bad vibes I feel from them, I don’t deem it necessary to label my beliefs and ideas under one all-encompassing term.
Whether I’m a self-proclaimed feminist or not, I still believe in equal rights and that neither men nor women should be the “better” gender. I 100% support human rights for everyone under the sun. There shouldn’t be subtle, lowkey discrimination against women in the workforce, and there shouldn’t be this master narrative that women should not and cannot be president.
However, I find double standards quite troubling, and when I mean both genders should be equal, I don’t mean across all levels.
In all honesty, women are physically weaker than men in terms of muscle tone. They’re biologically hardwired to be stronger, as through evolution, they were the hunters, the protectors, the fighters, so they had to be more muscular. Naturally, they are now. Not to say women can’t train to reach a great deal of strength, she certainly can, but will she naturally be stronger than a man? Probably not. They’re generally taller, more muscular, bigger than women, and women prefer that. Females looking for a male partner actually want him to be bigger than her and to protect her.
The male brain also functions differently than the female brain. Different hormones are released at different levels. Biologically, men and women are different, and because of these differences, equality can actually never achieved.
This is why women aren’t actively recruited for the military, which, many women probably are thankful for. They never have to worry about the draft or escaping it. They don’t have the social pressures of following a strict set of characteristics. They don’t have to worry about making enough money to support a family, unless they’re single moms. They don’t have to worry about being everything a “man” is supposed to be, nor do they have to worry about the very strong judgements the judicial system seems to hold.
But women have their own sets of problems, and it will always be that way. Women are better at some things, and will always have a set of stereotypes, while the same for men.
Gender roles are hard to escape, and whether a feminist or not, we all fall into them. As women, we all appreciate a courteous man who will open our doors and buy us dinner. As men, they’ll always appreciate a gentle woman who can cook a bombass meal.
In this century, where there are many different ways to identify and define ourselves, the traditional walls that surrounded us are starting to crumble down. Everything we knew and were used to is suddenly changing, and quickly at that. Society isn’t the same as it was even a mere ten years ago.
Things may never settle down into where they need to be, as everything is constantly changing. Ideologies, beliefs, lifestyles are never concrete, and as they evolve so must everything else. It’s not easy to adapt to new ways of life, but it does happen.
I’m not a feminist, but that doesn’t mean I disagree with them on everything. We share some beliefs and disagree on others. Feminism is growing in popularity as more people are speaking out and spreading their opinions. Many celebrities were quick to speak out about feminism, and televise and publicize what they said. Everyone is quickly becoming a feminist, and it worries me. Don’t call yourself a feminist because everyone else is. Google it, research it, talk to people who are and aren’t before you go around criticizing those who aren’t.
I’m not a feminist because I refuse to label myself. I don’t believe in #yesallwomen I believe in #yesallpeople. I’d rather label myself as a human rights supporter, because I don’t technically support women empowerment.
Yes, I’m all for women feeling confident and powerful, but I don’t support squashing men in order to achieve that. Women can feel all those things without having to abase men and over-empower themselves. If you’re going to support equality, don’t go around on a men-hatred spree and treat men worse than many men treat women. Enough with this “sexualization/objectification of women.” Women do it just as much as men. We all like anything attractive and sexual, whether anyone wants to admit it or not.
Even babies would rather look at someone they deem attract over someone that they think isn’t. It’s the human brain, and after being brought up with a set of ideas that we’ve never questioned, we can’t suddenly flip a switch and think differently. There are some things we’ve never questioned before; it’s just “natural,” in a sense.
Not sure where I was going with that but to sum it all up, I’m not a feminist. Feminism is too broad and vague and amorphous for me. It means a billion of things and all feminists think differently. I don’t support quite a few things feminists do, so I refuse to identify as one. Again, doesn’t mean I don’t want women to be on a somewhat more equal level than men, or that I hate women or something.
People get the wrong idea when I say I’m not a feminist, just the same way many get the wrong idea when people declare themselves as feminists.
It shouldn’t be a big deal as to what we identify as, whether it’s our political, ideological or sexual identities. Or any other ways to define ourselves. We are who we are, and these labels will never encompass all we believe in.
You never know until you come back
The saying goes “you never know what you’re missing until it’s gone” but for me, it’s been quite the opposite.
I was homesick for two days, got over it, and didn’t really want to go home. I liked it when my parents came down to visit, but I couldn’t imagine going home and puttering around my neighborhood. It seemed too far away, too much in the past and I was too zoned in on my present.
However, I went home for the weekend, and although I wasn’t actually in my house for the majority of the time, I was abstractly home. I hung out with a few of my best friends, which is a crazy story on its own, then I hung out with my family.
I knew I missed them, and even though it’s only been a month, I actually missed home. I used to have a love/hate relationship with my general city area—eager to leave and never come back, yet I still had a soft spot for it.
Coming back felt like I had never left, and a huge chunk of me wanted to dig my heels into my wooden floor and stay home.
I like college, I might even say the L-word, but I love home more.
Home, meaning my family. Everything I love, dislike, and all that falls between about them, is what home is to me. I feel like I didn’t have enough time with them, which upsets me. I feel unsettled, as though I never went home in the first place.
Which is why I’m, probably, coming home again this weekend.
Very glad I played kingdom hearts when I was younger, and although I remember the characters and different worlds, I vaguely remember the storyline.
It’s a dream come true— I can replay it and relive the experience, as if I never played it a first time.
Going to replay all kingdom hearts games like asap.
And by all I mean maybe the ps2 ones, but more likely I’ll just play on my ds because it’s easier.